miércoles, 31 de diciembre de 2008

Have I found you?

I know I haven’t found you sooner because you’ve been living in my mind all along, and yet… now, here you are. Incredibly enough, I've found you at last.
I guess that only means I’ve finally gone crazy.
But my eyes look at you and there’s no doubt that you’re actually there in front of them. My ears listen to the music of your soft voice just as clearly as they can hear the traffic outside. My hands touch you and my entire body melts, like in the books, but the feel of you also makes my heart leap and my blood boil… well, I guess that’s like in the books also. But is real, I know it.
Even when my rational self knows that you can’t possibly exist, that is like if you where taken out of my wildest dreams and make into reality, I still feel you… alive.
So, what’s the catch? I wonder, because there has to be something. I mean, I’ve never get what I wanted in my whole life and it took me a long time to realize that it was because I wasn’t doing anything to get it. That it was up to me. So… if I haven’t done anything, nothing was different, I didn’t drastically change whatever was that I was doing wrong… why did I found you?
“Have I found you? Flightless bird” says a song I like… Have I? Or did I just really have gone so mad that even when we make love everything you make me feel is just an illusion inside my head?
I am so scared right know I don’t even know for sure what I dread the most: you don’t really existing... or actually acknowledging that you do. Because if I’m crazy there’s a part of my that doesn’t want to know, but if you’re real and you love me I – I have to deal with that. With the fact that you’re only human and far from perfect. That at some point you’re going to stop being exactly how I had imagined you and I’ll have to accept that.
And that you can break my heart.
And I think that’s what scares me the most. I can deal with craziness; hell, it’ll probably be fun. But I don’t know how to handle my emotions and I definitely can’t handle love.

So, I guess what I wanted to say is that you’re my dream come true… And I hope you keep being it until I can figure out the rest.

No hay comentarios :

Publicar un comentario